Why Didn't Someone Tell Me: Body Image Issues & Pregnancy?

I am now less than two weeks away from being finished with my first trimester. Overall, it has been a great pregnancy - no complications, no spotting, nothing really to write home about. I've been sick and have spent a couple days in bed, but i haven't thrown up (though, often i think i would feel better if i did) and i've been EXHAUSTED, which is completely normal. And, all this should be going away soon, so i've been told. we'll see. BUT, the thing that has caught me the most off guard is the sudden lack of confidence because of my body. My entire stomach is thick and squishy, and i have a pregnant pooch that looks more like a burrito baby than actual baby. and my breasts are HUGE. i had to go buy bigger bras today - a 34DD. what does that even mean? the sales lady put a size E on me, and said, oh, that's a little big. a LITTLE big?!? (yes, in Nordstrom they come in the room with you to fit you. um, thanks) someone shoot me, because i'm going to reach that E and probably far beyond.

Now, in my head and in my heart, too, i think its all wonderful. i am creating a person. a whole living, breathing, already kicking and hiccuping, person. he/she is INSIDE of me. its surreal. its incredible, but its awesome. i look at my belly and think, wow - how are you ever going to hold an 8lb baby? and i know that it will just make room. my organs will shift, my uterus will continue to grow, and everything will just happen. But, then i look down again and think, WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO MY BODY? i have 28 weeks left, and i am already feeling like a big, lazy piece of lard. and in that lack of confidence, i also feel shame. i hate that i am not simply overjoyed with every little change in my body. i feel like a selfish mother-to-be, and i just wish i knew how to shake it.

so, i think i just have to stick with it (obviously) and remember what's really happening. i'm banking on feeling better about everything once the nausea subsides, i get my energy back, and once i really start to look pregnant. so, we'll see. but in the meantime, my bean is the size of a fig now - getting to be so big already!